She Was Asking For It

So the other day I was reading a blog written by women. The bloggers were discussing a woman who had experienced quite a bit of on-the-job harassment - from men and women alike - much of which was sexual in nature. I suppose some folks would call that sexual harassment. I assumed that these women would line up with support for the harassed woman, but that wasn't necessarily the case. One of the bloggers was understandably disquieted by the behavior toward this woman. However, another blogger's response was somewhat unsettling. Response has been edited for "clarity."

I think that when you've used your sexuality as a tool as much as she has, you're fair game for that kind of behavior. When I think of that woman, I kept coming back to the interview and her behavior. For days after that, I kept thinking that if she had been meeting with another woman who wasn't using the same tactics of using sex appeal, she would have looked ridiculous. As it was, she was meeting with a man, and even if you don't agree with the tactic (since it sends the message that sexuality is one of the tools that women need to use to get ahead), it's her prerogative to use it, and I'm sure it does work for some people. I just think once you go down that road in front of everybody, you're fair game to how people react. Heck, when your own friend describes you—proudly—as a "direct counterpoint to the stodgy women of old" do you really even want the protection that other women seem willing to afford you from being ogled? Whether women should extend it is another question. I think she pretty well set herself up for the ogling—and the "harassment" that ensued.

Basically, regardless of how vile the harassment may have been, it's her own fault because her behavior was tinged with sex appeal. In other words, she was asking for it. I suppose one could argue with the blogger's description of the situation - contend that there is a fine line between sex appeal and charm - but I'm not sure that is really the point. Even given the premise that sex appeal was the modus operandi for this woman, are ogling and harassment really considered acceptable responses? Are women, in particular, are okay with this kind of harassment? It would seem so.




Here is the orignal posting. See if your reaction changes when reading it in the original context.

The 23rd

In the past couple weeks I've seen quite a few movies. Two in particular piqued my interest as a study in contrasts.

Both films deal with the death of a woman. Film 1 proceeds as a courtroom procedural, wherein an attorney seeks to bring a known killer to justice. Film 2 proceeds as a mosaic and examines the lives that are affected by the dead woman. The actors of Film 1 are bigger stars than those of Film 2, but both films feature easily recognizable performers. The director of Film 1 has previously made more well-known films than the director of Film 2, although neither is in any way an household name.

Still, what is more interesting than the actors in each film or even the approaches the films take, although that could be dissected at length, is the startling difference of the films post-release.

Film 1 received generally favorable reviews, with most of the praise going to the actors. This is understandable given that it featured actors who have combined for 6 Oscar nominations, with 1 win. Personally, I found the performances to be overpraised, but still the strongest part of the otherwise pedestrian film. It opened in over 2,000 theaters and grossed about $39 million in the US. You've no doubt heard of it, quite possibly seen it, and there's a decent chance you'll consider picking it up next time you're at Blockbuster.

Film 2 received generally favorable reviews, with most of the praise going to the actors. This is understandable given that it featured actors who have combined for 8 Oscar nominations, with 2 wins. Personally, I found the performances to be worthy of the praise given and the film far superior to Film 1. It opened in 2 theaters and grossed about $19,000 in the US. You've probably never heard of it, haven't seen it, and there's a decent chance you won't even find it next time you're at Blockbuster.

But the contrast I found most interesting is an incredibly simple one. If I told you that one film primarily featured male actors and the other film primarily featured female actors, would you have difficulty guessing which film was which?