Echt Ben.

So this girl I know has been sharing tidbits of information with me about another girl. Girl #2 is described as "really Christian" and a "good girl" who's choosing to remain a virgin (until marriage, one assumes). A couple pictures reveal that she is actually quite attractive so the virginity thing is most likely a choice. I'm pleased to discover that there really do seem to be attractive, good girls left in the world, even though most evidence tends to point to the contrary. A few weeks later Girl #1 shares with me new pictures of Girl #2, which are most unlike what I would expect from a person who has been described as above. Instead of the big smiles and intriguing beauty from earlier shots, we now have short skirts, no shirt, and sultry poses. Surely anyone I went to school with has witnessed a similar kind of dichotomous behavior in girls, most likely between Saturday night and Sunday morning.

Still, I don't actually know this person. I don't know her intentions. It's possible she's just trying to have a little fun with the camera and mess with guys' heads (as girls are prone to do). Then again, it's possible she's turned the corner and has abandoned the good-girl persona. Which conclusion are we to draw? I can't say. Still, I'm reminded of Dave Chappelle's comments on girls who dress like hos and how they get upset if you assume they actually are hos. He says, "You may not be a whore, but you're certainly wearing their uniform." So while the cross ring on her finger is straight out of the James Avery catalog her shirt isn't. Oh wait, what shirt? Well, I'm sure the bra didn't come from there either. Given the angle of one of the shots, the bra provides an excellent view of some fabulous cleavage. Still, it does cover the "off-limits areas" so the pictures are still modest enough for Maxim.

Now, it's not that this girl is committing some egregious crime against humanity or anything of the sort. It's simply that I'm detecting a pattern. As I said, I'm sure anyone I went to school with is all too familiar with these sort of contrasting behaviors existing in good girls. I still believe that there are girls who aren't freak-hos at heart and really do mean what they say, but the evidence is really starting to pile up in opposition to that belief. I have met a few girls who do seem to be who they purport to be; but how long before I'm proven wrong about them too? Is it just a matter of time and/or opportunity? That remains to be seen.

What I do know is that we're all hypocrites. We all do things that contradict our intentions and past proclamations. It happens. But I remember what my good friend CB used to tell our pledges during induction. "Be real," he would say. Again and again he would stress it. He couldn't have been more right. The only way to truly connect with others is to be open with them. We all have our faults and our vices. We aren't perfect and we're not the same as everyone else. If you are ashamed of or have regrets about things you've done, then admit it and work to change. Pretending to be something you're not serves only to alienate those who know otherwise. True, some will alienate you for your imperfections, but such is life. If you want to take seductive pictures to share over the internet, then feel free to do so. If you want to go to church on Sundays instead of sleeping in, then feel free to do so. This is America. But, please, let's be honest with each other. If you're good, then just be good. If you're a freak-ho at heart, then stop hiding it. Save us all the disappointment of an untimely revelation. Or, at least, just save me.

Le Horla

Whence come those mysterious influences which change our happiness into discouragement, and our self-confidence into diffidence? One might almost say that the air, the invisible air, is full of unknowable Forces, whose mysterious presence we have to endure. I wake up in the best of spirits, with an inclination to sing. Why? I go down by the edge of the water, and suddenly, after walking a short distance, I return home wretched, as if some misfortune were awaiting me there. Why? Is it a cold shiver which, passing over my skin, has upset my nerves and given me low spirits? Is it the form of the clouds, or the tints of the sky, or the colors of the surrounding objects which are so changeable, that has troubled my thoughts as they passed before my eyes? Who can tell? Everything that surrounds us, everything that we see without looking at it, everything that we touch without knowing it, everything that we handle without feeling it, everything that we meet without clearly distinguishing it, has a rapid, surprising, and inexplicable effect upon us and upon our senses, and, through them, on our ideas and on our being itself.

How profound that mystery of the Invisible…

~Guy de Maupassant

The following is based on true events. Some of the names have been changed/edited to protect the innocent. The names that have not been changed are those of the guilty.

Dear Dr. Burks,

In light of recent events we feel it necessary to submit a letter of apology and to explain the situation to you and to Harding University. We would like to express our sincerest apologies and regrets over the incidents that have occurred over the past few days. The actions we took regarding the function, including the sponsors and the printing of senior wills, were irresponsible and were not intended to bring any harm to the individuals present, to Harding University, or the student body therein.

As graduating seniors we have made every effort to be Christian examples to our fellow students. The senior wills were written in jest, were not an admission of past events, and were not meant to be an affront to Harding or its values.

As far as the accusations regarding the use of inappropriate behavior during and following our function, we want to say that those accusations are completely unfounded and untrue. We realize our actions were thoughtless and we wish to take any possible action to rectify the situation at hand. As of now, we have collected and turned in to Dean C all of the wills in our possession. We have spoken to Dean C at length about the matter and have expressed our sincerest apologies. If necessary we would be more than willing to make a public and/or written apology to whomever it is deemed necessary.

We want to address the accusations in any way we can to clear up this matter. We would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss these matters.

Sincerely,


Jiz, Braintard , Phildo, Hadoken!